The daily life of one Emo man

What a week !

2010-06-01T00:53:00.001-07:00

Dear Me,

How have you been my friend :(
I know it's been a hard week and finally, you did something out of your comfort zone and i'm really happy for you...
Finally you typed the email you longed wanted to type and send and you did it !
Sounds like a time for celebration =D

Anyway... Strive forward and harder... it's takes great amount of effort and trickery to bring down a great stronghold...

Trust no one but yourself... people around are all hypocrites and this will remain true as long as mankind exists...

It's a cruel world out there... people making full use of another to gain and benefit themselves...
that's about it...

With Love,
Me

Since i won't be having any examinations or studies anymore and i'm quite sure that i'll pass my last sem modules, it's time to look for something to pass time...

1) To take up a bike licence and buy a bike so can travel around anywhere anytime
2) Pick up Thai language
3) Study the pattern of winning 4D
4) Start learning bakery
5) Start learning home cooking

Oh well...

6) I think i shall just get a camera !!!
It's been so freaking long and why isn't the price coming downwards !!!
It's really frustrating !!!
Hahaa...

Anyway i guess it's about time i start exercising....
And when was the last time i had a jogging ?
No idea man !!! Guess i'm going to fail my in-coming Re-service :x

Contradiction...

2010-05-21T21:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Me,

I know you've been busy this week but shouldn't it be the time to move forth and onwards ?
There are many great things ahead for you to venture into and be more open up.
Yes you have been very inflexible all these while and i know you have your reasons BUT
shouldn't it be the time to let-go of everything and start thinking ahead instead of clinging onto the past and many-a-times, stagnant or worse, moved backwards.

You know you aren't young anymore. You know you need to do something about it.
There will definitely be a time when no one is around for you, no one to guide you and even no one to feed you except you yourself to be there for you. It's exactly what the old man said when you were still a rookie "The world is like a jungle, it has never changed; be it the beginning of human civilisation or the day since man was created. Human instinct tells you that you need to kill/hunt/eat/breathe to survive - it's a harsh reality, a very difficult environment world out there and it's either you eat or be eaten. Now the bad thing is, you a man, being strong in nature has to the lead. No matter what, you got to rely on yourself and not others too much..."
It's embedded into the back of my head ever since we had that lunch at the already torn-down temporary chinatown market food centre.

Somehow what he said differs from my thoughts. All along, family values come first and it has always been family that comes into the picture before others. It seems to me that you are just a pussy.

I know you seriously hate this life but what to do, like what the old man always say "What to do, you just got to do it."

With Love,
Me

Recently i have free time, it's always the same, work home games work home game... the same routine over and over repeating itself everyday...
I've been wondering what about the others, are they going through the same routine as mine ?
It's really kind of sad in life; why God created man...

Dear Me (Day 1)

2010-05-19T21:36:00.001-07:00

I was at work when i saw this week's 8days magazine.
It was the usual morning the foul and irritating mood self of me dragging myself off the comfy and heartwarming bed of mine to work.
You don't wish to see my face in the morning, it's totally "Don't you dare talk or even look at me" kind of attitude grouchy and unfriendly manner.

There, as usual sitting at my place, presented infront of me, 8days magazine with the gorgeous Michelle Chia as front cover.

Took it out from the nicely wrapped plastic and started reading it, ignoring the old man's saying "Urgent, this is urgent...."

-______-

Yes it's always urgent and never ending things to do...
Something is really bothering me lately after knowing how lowly i was paid...
I seriously have to drag myself to work everyday !!!

Oh well not to talk about work... then i started flipping through the pages in the magazine and obviously i'm more interested in pictures than length and length of words and of course Michelle Chia's story of the week :D and was reading about the other michelle, Michelle Chong...

Both Michelle (s) are really remarkable women.

As i was reading, oh well i'm contradicting myself again but it's alright, i do that all the time, yes i was reading and there's this one small article which grabbed my attention. First Person by Jason Hahn.

Yes kind of weird name Hahn... it talks about a book "Letter to My 16-Year-Old Self"

Oh well it's on interesting book after reading the reviews off the internet...

And Dear Me, i shall replicate this story of my own...

Dear Me,

I know you hate the world you are in after reading so many successful stories off the internet and the magazines, but do remember, you are happy with who you are and that's the most important reason you need to know and remember it well.

You must be advantageous enough, dare to take risks and stop being a pussy.
You won't be able achieve anything and yes i do mean what i said !!!

Why are there people who aren't as good as you but are more successful than you?
You know what i mean and you know what i'm saying.

Why is it that there are people who are able to afford and able to give more to their mum and not me? It's because you are being a pussy all along !!!

FOOK YOU!

Love,
Me

Dream or Reality

2010-01-04T19:20:00.000-08:00

不知为何，刚才又想起我的梦想
梦想和现实是两回事

我现在的工作并不是我所渴望地...
但我有一个梦想...

一个我非常喜爱和能使我全身充满了活力和自信
直到如今，我还是没有那勇气创业和一心追求我的梦想

1年以过了，我还能希望，还能盼望着追求这梦想吗?
我不年轻了，难道我这梦想将是我永远的遗憾..

A girl i like...

2009-12-06T20:30:00.000-08:00

Being sick and didn't really blog for quite a while...
got my results and i can say that i'm quite happy; for i thought i was going to repeat one of the modules because for sure, i don't think i was able to pass for that but luckily i passed by 1 mark in the overall grade :)
Didn't expect much for this time round of examinations because didn't really study hard enough and consistant enough for this semester... All last minute studies... felt bad about it... but i promised myself to get all HDs for next sem's 4 modules :D
Hahaa

Ok, didn't go to sitex at expo... sick... seriously bad coughing...
Life is just too short i guess... i think my life will be really shorten... i just hope that i am able to live till 50 and i'm really happy :)

Recently had my haircut in a saloon, a place my friend recommended me to...
I'm really in love with the hair-dresser... i had my haircut on saturday and she just keeps on reappearing in my mind...

Initially i only wanted to have my haircut and that was it, but the moment she asked do you want to wash your hair as well, her smile and the eye contacts :blushz: i was seriously stumbled and i said ok :) then she started to put shampoo on my hair and i felt so ....... i don't know... i just fell so in love with her :blushingz:

Oh well, she's one woman/lady i guess i can see from far and admire deep within :(

Exam Stresssssss ............ Emo

2009-10-21T01:13:00.000-07:00

Breaking up isn't really a bad thing...
Dragging onwards to nowhere is something...

I thank you for taking the very brave step which i hadn't had the courage to take...
I thank you for all the wonderful memories you left deep inside me...

As i grow older with each passing day,
i've come to realize how selfish i was when everything got to suit my way.
There were many far better off boys/men out there,
your eyes only had me and me alone here.

Life is unpredictable and weird,
the time i thought i was just somebody or even a nobody in your eyes,
i became someone special,
someone whom you could lean-onto when you were down.

Time is one strange and inexplicable factor...
Knowledge is something i gained through pain and sorrow...

Fear is the word i use to describe my future romance,
not because of what you said,
but the reality which we are in.

Chances are everywhere,
all i got to do is just to open my mouth and open my arms and let someone into my embrace.
You always said that how easy it was for me to charm and make your day.
You were happy everytime, every moment with every little simple things i did for you back then.

As months passed, year passed,
i knew you were afraid of our future,
to be honest with you, i too was afraid......

Irritating, Irritated & irritates

2009-09-29T09:29:00.000-07:00

Awwwwwwwww.............. AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

You know what, she's back in taiwan :(
SAD !!!!!!!!!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

oh well.......

Nothing to post

2009-09-26T08:46:00.001-07:00

Recently it seems like i have lost my sense of life direction.
I have lost interests of almost everything.
Nothing motivates me, what's worse, final examinations are coming.

The more you know or learn about something, the more you think that the world is such a cruel place. Why did God create human in the first place. Why didn't you just eliminate the moment we sinned?

That's this fear within me. I am just so afraid of stepping out the very first step.
I know i can't blame anyone for this and i know i'm a lost sheep.

Nikon !!! or EOS !!!

Nice Article

2009-09-02T01:44:00.000-07:00

Undergrads a class act

By Bryna Sim

I'M NO stranger to hearing negative comments about the China nationals (PRCs) on our university campus.

Many gossip about their dressing and accent, and find their academic competitiveness a threat.

But I'd like to challenge such attitudes, after having spent a year in Beijing on a bicultural immersion programme.

Let's look first at dressing.

A Singaporean friend once joked that the Chinese love numbers, alphabet letters and cartoon characters on their backs.

I must admit, on the Beijing campus, it wasn't uncommon for students to attend lectures in Minnie and Mickey Mouse tops. But it was a simplicity I came to appreciate.

What's wrong with dressing down, as long as you feel confident? And why should we subject others to trends, when clothes have no bearing on character?

Now a look at classroom attitudes.

In Beijing, students go to classes 30 minutes beforehand to revise their notes and prepare questions.

During lessons, most listen, rapt, and carefully take notes. This enthusiasm remained even after class, with many cornering lecturers with questions.

Some even insisted on practising their English by conversing with me, at first highly alarming me with what seemed like a more severe case of kiasu-ism than Singapore's.

But I soon realised that such behaviour stemmed from drive and determination, not zero-sum competitiveness.

They readily offered to proofread my history essays written in Chinese , and bought me apples and oranges (or whatever fruit was in season) to ensure I was well-nourished.

It was all practical, but it came from the heart. And in return, I gave them English lessons.

I came to understand that they viewed studying hard as filial piety, especially because the parents of many of them were peasants who had toiled in the countryside all their lives just to get them into this prestigious university.

Compare such passion with the attitude of students here. Do we really pay attention to our lecturers? Or are we chatting happily on MSN or shopping online with our swanky laptops? Are we punctual? Or do we saunter in late?

And how many of us would buy presents for one another simply out of concern for another's well-being, let alone genuinely assist someone else with academic problems?

The PRCs hardly own laptops or cars, but there is richness in their modesty.

My immersion programme has been an eye-opener, and the warmth of the PRCs has humbled me. They made me feel at ease in Beijing, although I was far from home.

By comparison, we deliberately ostracise them here.

Granted, they are different from us. But they are entitled to their own manners and methods.

When I attempted to be truly open-minded, I found that I understood them better.

Now I no longer view them as different. Instead, I regard them as unique. It's not our right to insist that they fit in with us; it's rude.

What gives us the authority to deny others their culture? Why should we even think ourselves better than them? It's time for a change of heart - and perspective.

The writer, 24, attended Peking University from July 2007 to August last year. She is now a journalist with The New Paper.

This article was first published in The Straits Times.

Sad

2009-08-06T20:31:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since i last updated this blog...
Had gone for my 2weeks reservice; this is the reason why :)

Shall not touch on my reservice days :) Kinda enjoyed the experience :)

Yesterday i was kind of disappointed and sad...
Someone whom i thought was a very close friend/buddy, confronted me over the phone...
"Bla bla bla .... Just because i want to have a life of my own... bla bla bla"
Back in my mind, i was thinking, when did we ever stop or intercept or mess up your life ?
Then he touched on the past issue... YES Pris and me...

If all along you have been treating me as a good friend; let bygones be bygones. Relationship is mutual and it shouldn't be a barrier to brotherhood or friendship... i did nothing wrong in the past... I didn't backstab you or whatsoever and i am not the kind of guy, you jolly well know this!!! it just happened that we had feelings for each other... i even asked her if she could prefer you over me, or was alright to be with you but she posted me a question... "If it'll make you happy that i'm with him, i'll listen and suit you but deep inside, you know how much i wanted to be with you instead of him..." IF YOU WERE IN MY SHOE, WHAT WILL YOU DO ? All along, i didn't do/act/say anything bad or wrong... Be it the past, Be it the present, Be it the future!!!

Just because of one girl who called herself the yellow skin one was troubled or confused with something i said, you came and fook me upside down... i'm totally devastated and upset...
Now in order to prevent any further grudges or misunderstandings, i've decided to do something about this and everything...

I want to say something to you... if i were to be involved... you know jolly well how good i can be and it's a matter of whether i want it to be or not... i have no time for other issues... and get this straight into your upper head...

I knew what you did and what you have done... i've been thinking alot... why is this happening to you... YSL is going through alot and yet... i just cannot imagine what a person you have become...
Nevertheless, i just wish you happiness then...

人在做，天在看，自己做过什么事，心知肚明；身为你的好友，我只能唉声叹气地叫“悲哀，狼狈”

Now i understand why that day at the Macdonald's you behaved and acted in such arrogant and status gap manner... it forms the bigger picture afterall... i'm a thinker, i analyze and i don't jump into conclusion... the things you did... i seriously have nothing to say...

Updates

2009-07-11T22:00:00.000-07:00

Met up with afew secondary school friends last night, quek, siew, siling, wenrou and myself...

It was kind of weird meetup. Hahaa siling was my first girlfriend, while this wenrou was someone i liked in the secondary school days... hahaa

When being asked what is my goals in my life, few years back, i could answer you straight away...

things changed, and i dislike the fact that i got to work towards something which i needed to plan...

I just wish that life is just easy go lucky. Reason being, the more things you plan in advance, the more pain you will get if you can't attain or achieve that something. I don't wish to be in that state anymore. One time is very good enough for me.

Then we chatted and talked about other things as well...

I'm sad over the week; most probably due to the fact that we have realized something about someone who used to be very close to us. I just couldn't believe that, a friend of mine told me something which i will keep reminding myself. Who am i to judge or control people's life? If that someone wants to be like this, what else or who am i to change that?

Ok maybe because i've been through many ups and downs in my life, i guess over the many years we have known each other, i guess that's about it...

"The actions were clear;

Never be the same
Executed without further thoughts;
No issue at hand

What seems like happiness;
Might be lies disguised
Feels like new adventure;
Ultimately leading nowhere ahead

Wounds you try healing;
Damages done beyond repair
Words can never conceal;
True colors I saw

WAKE UP !!!!!!!!!!

Years of mutual bonding
Days of new fonding

Speechless...
Blankness..."

ssian

What is happiness ?

2009-07-07T19:31:00.001-07:00

I have always been wondering what happiness is, what truely defines the meaning of happiness ?
I used to think that happiness is when you are with someone you love and in return, she loves you back as much as you love that person... it isn't the case.
I used to think that happiness is when you see the smile on her face, you feel at ease and hug her so sweetly, embrace her warmth to your body... it isn't the case.
I used to think that happiness is when you are having a simple and enjoyable meal with the one you love, eating, drinking and looking at her... it isn't the case.
I used to think that happiness is when you see her happy, which in return you felt happy that she was happy and we were happy... it isn't the case.

Till this day, i have yet to know what true happiness is...

It's so much easier to know what is sadness, emo and anger...
What is happiness ?

"
The very moment you held my hands,
i could see our futures at hand.

The very moment you took out the ring,
i could hear my inner bells tinkling.

The very moment you spoke the words,
i could taste the sweetness of our world.

The very moment you hugged me so tight,
i could feel our lives excite.
"

"
Why ?
Why do you walk away now ?

Why ?
Why is this happening ?

Why ?
Why do i have so many Why(s) ?

Why ?
Why can't we give it a one last final try ?

Decision Made
Words Spoken

Angers Rising
Hatred Building

Feelings Fading
Love's Dying

Feeling frustrating
Feeling lost
"

Sleepless night

2009-06-25T09:32:00.001-07:00

This afternoon while having my fruits for lunch, i thought i saw someone familiar, someone who used to be very close to me, someone i was very familiar with, someone i knew deep inside...

She resembles her very much. It's nice seeing you again :)
"How are you?" It's been years since i last saw you.

It wasn't her, but she definitely looked like her... she's slightly taller and much prettier... and she used to like funny funny jewelleries... She was very unique... She those dare-devil...

It's been so long, i thought i could get over it... looking at my right hand's knuckle scars, it's embedded for life, something to remember for life...

She was the one whom i loved so much, so much to the extend of doing anything, simply anything for her... She was simple, all she wanted was me to spend lots and lots of time with her, she loved attention, constant attention which i couldn't give last time...

"Laurel, how are you ? I know that i have hurted you deeply and you will never forgive in your entire life. I acted that way was because i loved you too much. You know how much i loved you. You knew i'm a guy with few words and the only way to show how much i loved you were through my actions."

I have so many things i wanted to say to you. I know you will never ever look into my eyes again...

Another sleepless night...

I have been wondering why, why is it that people brokeup and can remained as friends, why can't we be friends anymore? Why?

The story of a tree and its leaves...

2009-06-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

叶子的离开，是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留.......
而是因为叶子决定了放弃

This is a very classical story of what's happening in a relationship...

The reason why the leaf left the tree was because of wind's pursue or simply because the tree had refused to hold onto the leaf back... or could it be simply because the leaf wanted to leave ? Or could it be that the leaf wanted to see some foreign ground after hearing stories from the seasonal birds how beautiful the world is ?

Each reason has its own individual meaning, and it reflects one person's way of perceiving things...

Went to the gym with quek yesterday evening... Did some workout.... Totally painful...
Body aching terribly... how i wish i can just lie on my bed longer... oh well i can feel them bigger now :D

School Notes Out !!!

2009-06-24T00:27:00.001-07:00

Looks like it's going to be a tough semester ahead...

Oh well, today's weather is so cooling and how i wish i'm able to just snuggle myself in my bed with my booster :x Heehee

Lightless, motionless & drainless;
i sat in the corner of my room, thinking all the things you'd said.
Gloominess, stillness & lonliness ......
night, i sank my face inbetween my folding arms, refreshing all our past memories.

Plain, white, bright, emptiness;
i could not bear to think further.
Red, black, dark, hysterias ......
as your words seemed to be chanting and chanting nonchalantly about our promises.

Happiness, joy, contentment;
when i saw us doing the things together.
Hatred, anger, delirium ......
when you kept everything and i didn't know anything!!! Telling me why why why !!!

Tears, window pane & ledge;
i cried alone quietly, so much so much pain deep within.
Quietness, moon & stars ......
the very last night i'll ever produce tears i promise.

School is starting soon and it's going to be a really tough semester and i seriously do not have the time to be emo once again... Got to focus focus and focus... One more year and i'll be free and i'll go on to love and be loved :D

Patience... i'm a very very patient person :p

I'm heading to gym this evening with quek and hopefully things will go well smoothly :)

Busy

2009-06-22T22:07:00.000-07:00

Been quite busy over these few days that i ever brought the workload back home to work on.... Z______z
Hahaa got to furnish the report out ya :p
Supposingly to finish and email them on saturday, the moment i reached home on friday, woots tired.... Saturday came and i totally forgot about this :x and happily went out with my friends and enjoyed myself and the night of mahjong HAHAHAA
Then it was after the mahjong session, around 6plus in the morning HAHAA Very early, then i remembered that i got to rush the report !!!! O_____x
Hahaa i was totally shagged out, i slept the moment i reached home...
Guess what, i wokeup at 930am because of the noise !!! Awwwww hahaa i couldn't sleep!!!
Oh well, had my breakfast and started doing the work...
And finally i finished by 1600hrs!!! Kind of easy work but tedious... AWWWWW.....
So tired, i quickly sent the report off and went back to bed :p

Oh well, i guess i'm going to do something new and hopefully can stick to it...
I'm going to gym regularly and here's my plan.
I hope to go gym every wednesdays and saturdays, cycling on every mondays and thursdays :)
Sounds cool ?
Have my controlled dieting lunch meals on wednesdays and fridays
Heehee sounds abit eclectic and trill :D

Ya that's about it :)

Nothing much to blog...
School is going to start and i have yet to make my school's fees :p

Oh well, i went drinking last friday or was it a saturday? Hmm can't remember....
Hahaa getting older :x

Oh ya it was a saturday, was supposed to go Moof's house to have mahjong, but didn't know what got onto him, he seemed emo and was behaving strangely and weirdly these days :/ then quek, yoyo and i decided to go drinking :D
Hahaa i didn't really drink alot this time round :D
I ordered one corona's ultra COOL :D
then stupid quek ordered don't know what coke something awwwwww tasted awfully disgusting :x
Then he ordered another one don't konw lime something then i had to finish the coke something awwww i'm a good drinker :x
I had few beers before going out to meet them up for drinking :p *Secretly...
Hahaa it was damn hot in the afternoon lor, chill beer is kind of cooling for me :D

After our drinking session, it was around midnight and you know what, we found out that Moof actually wanted to play mahjong and not drinking !!! Kao* Quek told me he's not kin in playing mahjong, that's why he suggested we go drinking, LOLx, nevermind in the end, we had mahjong in Moof's house and i won abit of money from them :p

Ya that's about all :)

Then it was yesterday when a friend of mine pasted a link
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7961943.stm
Awwwww.... Time to stop drinking... My family line has history of cancers.... Oh well... Who knows, i may not live till 30? :) but then life still goes on for now :)

Interesting Crime in Singapore

2009-06-17T20:02:00.000-07:00

Was reading up channelnewsasia website when i came across the article;
"Police warn of new phone extortion scam targeting businesses"
By Hoe Yeen Nie, Channel NewsAsia | Posted: 17 June 2009 1846 hrs

It seems like it's not the first time such incidents happen. I just received a call yesterday from a china woman. The moment i heard the voice, i hangup the call. Hahaa.

Then i saw another interesting article;
"Singapore's total population grew to 4.84m in 2008, up 5.5% over previous year"
By Imelda Saad, Channel NewsAsia | Posted: 17 June 2009 1725 hrs

Hahaa what can i say... while singapore still continues to face the long-term challenge of low fertility and an ageing population, Foreigners now make up about 25 per cent of the total population.What an interesting fact!!! Jobs were taken away from us, and now, young singaporeans like me and my peers are facing pressures as in whether to even find girlfriends or boyfriends and still far from marriage boy!!! Hahaa.

Oh well enough of these funny articles... which made my day, i went to watch "Drag me to hell" movie last night with my university classmates... Kinda sad, all guys!!! Hahaa we are being very anti-social, ohwell who cares :p

The show is kind of interesting to me, scary and expected ending... Most probably i knew what's going to happen next though :\

Oh well if you like something shocking out of a sudden ~ Due to the loud sound system, and if you have a strong heart, do watch this show, kind of interesting... It's all about pride and ego and curse. Something interesting is how one person's action can lead to those things... Life is cruel, everything is about money, decisions are made by human beings, but if one is to excel and do well, one got to forgo kindness and sympathy you see. There's no wrong in doing what's in the book or so called "law"

Oh well that's about it. I'm not pretty good with summary heehee but if you were to ask me to talk about the show, i might be telling you what happened in the show :p

Like first she was working in this bank as a Loan Manager, appareantly the AM position was vacant and she had a chance of clinching the position... Then came this very old indian lady with lots of letters in her hand, she asked her for help; to delay her payment loan which the bank had already delayed for her for the past 2 months... Kind of ridiculuous man !!! Then she said ok she'll try to help out... But the point was, it's already delayed for 2 months, why did she still have the cheek to even come and ask...

Because of the AM position, she went to her boss and ask if the bank could allow her extension once again, the boss took a look at the papers and said that she already had her 2 times extension and asked her to decide, KAO it's because of this my pretty pretty told the old woman that she was unable to extend, itwasn't not her fault or whatsoever... then this indian old lady who was very disgusting, suddenly came down to her knees on her own and started begging her, she became physical and started kissing her feet!!!

Obviously, the reaction from the girl would be, screamed for security!!! That's when things started to be more interesting, she said to her, "You have shamed me infront of so many people!!!" Kao *Pui

Back in my mind, kao she's some witch or something and it turned out to be true !!!
Kinda of predictable story line though, then things went scarier from this moment onwards...

Oh well you got to watch it man :p

It's this movie which made me realized that life is really unpredictable...
Be thankful and greatful for what you have and the people around you :)
No point emoing most of the time... Life still goes on... Don't regret when you are facing death :)
I like the ending very much how the male actor dropped his tears!!!
The feeling of hopelessness, the yearning of wanting to be the love one forever, the pain of witnessing your love one being dragged to hell.... it's just too terrible to describe...

你还是走了.......

2009-06-16T21:49:00.001-07:00

我舍不得地放开你的手
我还是让你走了

回家的路上我哭了
眼泪再一次崩溃了

无能为力地这样走着
再也不敢骄傲奢求了

我还能够说些什么
我还能够做些什么
我还能渴望些什么
我还能盼望些什么

我好希望你会听见
因为我是多么的爱你
目断魂销的让你走了

我一直坐在咖啡厅的角落
没有人发现我还在难过

我还不想承认这是事实
我还不能原谅我自己

怎么会变成这个样子
没有的我真的什么都没有了
就像一个废人
我恨我自己

其实早就已经忘了怎么说
就算再怎么舍不得
你还是走了

If you are reading this :)
I want you to know that i like your FB profile picture alot :)
I'm really being mesmerized by your smile :)

Sometimes i may not understand you
But time and time again you know what's deep in me
You are like my very first girlfriend, someone who is so mysterious, who doesn't share much about yourself...

Emo Monday with another emo Tuesday :`(

2009-06-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

你走了

还记得我们相遇那一天
还记得我们缠绵那一夜

你说过永不会放开我的手
你说过永不会让离开我
而不会再次让我流眼泪

第一次你我去旅游
第一次感受你我温柔
第一次你我紧握着彼此的手

你喜欢早起的太阳
我喜欢晚昏的月亮

你讨厌自己的缺陷
可命运偏偏那么无奈
我就是喜欢你的不完美

你走了我哭了
你转身就这麽地走了

在一个下着小雨的夜里
拉长身影只剩温柔
灯还没熄呢

难道他真的比我还爱你吗
我的心不知所措
冷冷的夜里独自泪流

明天我就要去远方
明天我就要去流浪
明天我就要忘记忧伤

在一个巧合的广场
我再次来到你身旁
你眼神变得很不一样

我偷偷地假装没看见你
你惊讶的眼神
再度使我透骨酸心

泪如泉滴
哀痛欲绝的孤独一人
就让我慢慢把你给遗忘

Bad Friday, Food Poisoning i guess.

2009-06-12T19:57:00.000-07:00

Terrible friday i had... I wokeup early in the morning and vomited. Nothing but clear liquid... That's awful... that sour after taste.... Yuckssss... Didn't go to work... Felt very very tired and weak... Spent the whole day at home except for lunch and dinner time...

Most probably due to the chicken rice i had for dinner on thursday night... While eating the chicken rice, the taste seemed kind of weird, but i don't really care because i don't like to waste food :x and i finished the whole packet :( Regretssss... Hahaa nvm...

I had no appetite but i got to take in something no matter what since i vomited in the morning, something plain, simple and nice... i decided to cook a dish for myself...
I went to the NTUC Market, bought a packet of chicken filets, and instand maggie porridge :D
So smart of me hor :) Then i had stirred fried chicken filet with garlic sauce :)

As for the instand porridge, it sucks big time... the first and my last time eating such porridge X__x

Here are some of the pictures of the chicken filet with garlic sauce :) Taste good :D I'm so proud of myself :D HAHAA

:)
Although i didn't feel good, i was very very happy :)
I was able to chat with someone :)
It's always nice and pleasant chatting with that someone :)
Someone whos is unpredictable, cheeky at times and straight forward :)
I like :)
Hahaa oh well :)

Bad about chew

2009-06-11T01:09:00.000-07:00

Received a call from George today asking me whether i want to go malaysia and look for chew....
Apparently, his wife ran away from home and hasn't come back...
He told me 3weeks ago, i thought he was joking with me but it seems like it's real...
He told me he cannot live anymore without his wife, he loves her etc etc...
I did ask him about what had gone wrong, he told me nothing....
I asked about whether he had an affair and got caught, he said no...
He told me she ran away apparently without any reason or so...
I don't know what to say... He has 3 kids... 2 boys and 1 girl.....
He told me he thought of committing sucide... this was when i lose my cool, all my vulgarities came out, i kept talking senses to him, and said something bad...
Fook care about your wife lah, you still have 3 children, girls are everywhere *(#@U*@
Find a new girl and marry lah.... bla bla bla simply blasting everything...
Oh well, i just hope he doesn't do anything silly... Guys are like girls, they are fragile at times... And it's these fragile times that they do stupid things... And a man in fragile time is much more easily shaken and broken compared to woman...

I told her about chew's matters... then she told me about her mother's friend's past...
Why such things happen... it's not like we don't accept the reality but why does it have to be this way??? Isn't there a God !!!

I want to say is, it's not that people don't accept the reality, but it's because it happens too sudden and being emotional human being, one is unable to think straight and logically and the fact is that he/she is out of the comfort zone...
Yes reality is cruel, shit does happen it's a never fair deal living on Earth...
People do accept but they react differently. If one is unable to accpet whatever had happened, he/she is already no longer on this Earth... The very fact that one is living is the proof that he's moving on...

It's like a sick person seeking medical attention being given medicine. It takes some time to recover from the illness...

Oh well, i don't know... what is going to happen to him...
As for me, myself, i know i can't love anyone right now... All those girls i'm talking about, yes they are pretty, it's just a reminder to myself that i still hope to find someone i am able to love, ini return, loving me back... I know one weakness about myself... when i'm in a relationship, i give my 100%... Although we guys like to have men's talk about don't put 100% etc etc, i don't know, i'm just different...

I still remember the time when we were at bukit banjang plaza shopping, she told me she left her mobile phone in the car, i offered to retrieve for her from the car, she said that it's ok that she go by herself since i'm buying a pair of shoes... Then i let her go... 15mins later, she wasn't back... I was seriously dead worried... I called her mobilephone, it was ringing, but no one pick it up... I quickly rushed to the multistorey carpark to the car and i saw her mobilephone still in the car... I brokedown... Many negative thoughts came to my mind... It was evening night time, the carpark was isolated, and kind of nobody... I searched the whole 7th storey carpark... Tears came down my cheeks... I was frantically searching for her... I had the thought of calling police shouting her name etc... I became bonkers... I even prepared myself mentally that if something bad were to happen to her, no matter what as long as she's alive, i'll take care for the rest of my life...

Suddenly she reappeared... I Hugged her so tightly and so dearly that she cried too and asked what happened... it's like a part of me was missing, someone dearly close to me, a part of my flesh being torn... I told her my thoughts and she promised me that she would never leave me...
She knew how much i love her... but sometimes things don't go the way two wanted it to be...

It takes time to heal, to forget about all these memories... 2years from may 15th 2009, i shall love and be loved once again :)

Cute Wednesday

2009-06-10T02:00:00.000-07:00

Hahaa she's so cute today...

I was reading the 8days magazine and it featured the top 20 Asia's hottest Stars. As i was flipping through the pages, i saw Takeshi Kaneshiro, my all time favourite actor/singer/model/man :x My idol heehee. Then i changed my msn nick to Takeshi Kaneshiro...

Then she msged me, OMG OMG OMG i didn't know you're in my msn OMG !!!
Hahaa so cute HAHAA...
She brightens up the rest of my day Heehee

I played snooker last night with quek at bukit timah shopping centre, we reached there around 9.30pm. Had a few nice games and ended our session roughly around midnight... Heehee not bad, both of us had our chances and shots, didn't really miss alot of shots...

There were so many youngsters, and particularly i saw a young girl. She looked so cute and she's the type of girl i would go out for :x i didn't though heehee. I was watching her, got distracted on my own game though hahaa, she knew i was watching her, oh well who cares man, other guys from other tables were watching them as well, but she looked back at me though HEEHEE i guess i had higher chances among the rest Hahaa but i didn't do anything besides watching her playing her pool... could tell that she just started playing and didn't really know how to play...

Oh well if she were to approach me, i'll teach her how to play :p

Heehee, that's about yesterday night... Had a few beer before turned myself in to my bed. Don't know why, i just feel like drinking some alcohol... Oh ya, it was during our snookering game, quek showed me the thai hostess that made him thought of marriage... oh well from the blurred video he had recorded, the girl was on stage performing, she's very pretty, innocent and pure looking young girl, roughly around our age group, very model lookalike type of girl, one that many guys will die for those :x

Then we decided to head down to the place this coming saturday. For me, i just want to see how pretty she is and that's about it, nothing more :p

Enjoy and do take care of yourself at the same time :)

Sleepy Tuesday

2009-06-09T00:23:00.001-07:00

Sleepy Tuesday... felt so tired and sleepy...
I guess i got to find a new job... I'm starting to get bored X_x
I'm still young, i wish to venture something weird but i'm afraid and something or someone is stopping me from venturing... My mother and money issue :x

Oh well, i went to Mr Curry House waraku to have lunch... Actually i didn't really feel like having lunch today but since my colleague asked me, it's not nice to reject so i went ahead with her to have or lunch at the central since she had this 20% discount coupon... Well, never been to waraku Mr Curry House to eat before...

We took a bus from our work place and it was just 2 bus stops away :D The weather was freaking hot X_x

I had the scallop and chicken doria while she had the seafood curry ministeamboat with rice...
Doria is somewhat like the baked rice... It has the curry in it... Not bad quite nice :D
As for the mini curry steamboat, looks nice as well. After the discount, paid 26 bucks for two person... To me it's kind of worth the money... The food was good... for me lah the Doria baked rice :)

Didn't take any pictures of the food because presentation wise, i don't find them nice but tastewise, better than average :)

That's about it, if you wish to have the 20% discount coupon, simply go to their website and print out... It's only applicable to The Central branch The Curry House Waraku :)

That's all for today... Sleepy Sleepy Z_z''

:)

I had a short chat with her yesterday... It's kind of sudden because it was the first time she initated a chat with me purely because i put quek's nickname under mine which says, "I met a thai hostess, she made me thought of marriage."
She asked who is this thai hostess and what made me thought of marriage? Heehee
I wish i know the answer hahaa and once i find that answer, i'll tell her :p
Oh well then she just went quiet, ya that's her, i guess she was just busy or didn't really want to have a chat with me... so i just kept quiet... that's about it :)

That's all for today :)

Something to do during the free time

2009-06-07T20:32:00.000-07:00

I have decided on something which i glanced upon everyday on keropi's FB...
Mobile uploaded pictures of food !!!
Yes and i have decided to do the same thing, uploading nice food i had or going to have :D~
Something new heehee on this blog and FB !!!
I hope i am able to post nice food photos with my KU990 LG Phone hahaa

And these are the pictures of the yummy pie made by my mum :D~
Simply delicious :D~~

The Men's Tennis Finals

2009-06-07T06:11:00.000-07:00

Am watching the Tennis Roland Garros Men's Finals match between Roger Federer vs Robin Soderling. I am a great fan of Roger Federer, i seriously hope that he is able to win against Soderling.

Had a great weekends this week. Brother brought the car back home. Maybe he didn't know how to talk to me, well we had lots of misunderstanding over the past years. When i reached home from tennis yesterday evening, he told me that he had parked his car kinda weird position and hoped that i was able to park it straight. Just went i cycled home from a game of tennis with Quek. Well, i'm not good in tennis, maybe i'm being lazy with my footwork. I've seen lots of videos on tennis and picturing myself playing like them, but it was too tough... Physically demanding kind of sports.

Ok now it's the starting of the first match, soderling to serve. He's now down with 15 - 30 :D
GO FEDERER GO :p

Woots now it's 30 - 40 and he lost the first game with a double fault to Federer :Laugh:
:)

Oh well, i guess i got to train my physical tolerance. I want to play good tennis. I guess i got to train my stamina first... As for my friend quek, he has his basic stroke. He's good and i'm kinda of a letdown. I guess i got to improve myself and i believe i can do it :p Hehee.

Had mahjong last night, and i won abit of money. Lucky to the the last game, i won or else overall loss money :x Heehee :p

Tiring Friday... Shooting = Marksman :D

2009-06-05T05:22:00.000-07:00

Heheee, woke up at 4.30am in the morning just because of one recall order for classification shoot today... Heheee, got lucky, got marksman :D Means got $200 for my Next semester's study :)
My face has more pimples recently, i'm not too sure why... Maybe i didn't have enough water or sleep. These are the two major factors which i am always lacking of :x

Oh well tiring day, later got to play mahjong :D I hope that i'm able to think straight and do better titles and win :)

That's about it today :x kinda tired...
will upload the pie pictures tomorrow :)

Brother is getting his car today :)
Not sure how it'll turn out to be :D Hahaa...
Hope that he will lend his car to us though :(

That's all :)
Shagged out :x

Guess it's about time...

2009-06-04T00:57:00.000-07:00

I guess it's about time i do something about me...
I have decided to spend less time on facebook and msn...

I'm happy to see her online in msn, wanting to chat with her, but her reply always made me... awwwww *banging the wall*
I don't know, i think in order not to feel this way, i have decided to end it all then...

That's about it.
And i've decided to blog everyday :)

I think blogging is very nice... it's like a close friend of mine, something personal :)
I can talk about anything and nobody will read it because i'm a nobody :)
I'm so happy :)

Ok, i shall move on now and not be bother by anything anymore :)
Study study study
Money money money
That's about it...
It's time for a transformation...

2 years... is a promise i have for you and that's all... i may be seen as happy go lucky but once i made a promise, i'll stick by it all the way... it's because of this, i'm hurted most of the time...

Oh well stupid me, who will wait for you for 2 years !!! She's going out with somebody and who knows she's already... yeah and might get married next month... oh well i'm still a v... argghhhh thinking and talking about this made me so pissed... Friends around me all already you know... Hai WTF !!! I think i better be a monk sia *((&#@&*#@ WHAT THE HELL am i talking here !!! AWWWWW

Ya that's about it then...
She doesn't even update her blog anymore :' (
Forget about it... Friends come and go just like that... This is life... no doubt...

END...

Happy and sad day...

2009-06-03T21:42:00.001-07:00

I'm happy that Roger Federer got through to the semi finals, so did Del Potro... Sad is that both of them are playing against each other in the semi finals to reach the finals... Kind of contridicting myself huh ? Hahaaa. Well this isn't the main part of my happiness and sadness...

Happy that i know my results... Although i didn't really expect the grades to be very Good, it turned out to be fairly well... Expecting to get at least one High Distinction, but my hopes were gone when i realized that i had many careless mistakes... And yes, it turned out that i needed only few marks to get a HD for that module... Hahaa hope to do better next semester :)

Sad is that i dreamt of her again... It's always like this... Whenever i wokeup early in the morning around 5am, i will try to get back to sleep because it's way too early to wakeup, then i dozed off and that's when i always have dreams... I dreamt of her again... This time round was different from the usual dream... And i dreamt of my secondary school friends... I was wearing very smartly, shirt, tie and pants while ah bui and ah blur were wearing very smartly as well... It was like a huge supermall, and we gathered to have a lunch or something and that's when i caught a glimpse of her opposite the place where we were having our lunch... I saw her, definitely it's her... She was sitting side-way facing me while i was sitting facing her direction... She was with another man, Someone who looked familiar but i don't know who the hell he is... They were having their lunch as well... While i was chatting with my friends, the man who was sitting with her kept giving me a kind of "want to fight" kind of stare... I was feeling uncomfortable... The kind of cold stares that will start a fight.... Who the fark is he anyway... I ignored it, i looked at her, she's still as beautiful and gorgeous as before... Oh well, back in my mind i was like, it's the past already and i have already decided to move on, so i ignored and chatted happily with my friends... I don't know what happened, when i turned and looked at where they were having their lunch, they were gone.... Weird, just in split seconds... Hahaa Then i wokeup...

Yes it's bothering me... Although i promised to you that i will look forward, but it's these kind of dreams that made me back to my old ways... I don't like it... I feel like telling you, yes i see you online, but i guess i'll just keep it to myself... Since it's my private own matters... I guess i'll never talk to you, that's about it :-(

The day i saw ronaldo girl

2009-06-03T02:52:00.000-07:00

Hahaa, it was this morning when i took the train to work, i saw a girl...
She was someone we named Ronaldo girl in our poly days purely because she was the "sunshine" girl... She really was the sunshine type of girl, tanned looking, looked kind of strong and fit :) She's pretty...
I was standing at one corner, reading my Harry Porter Half Blood Prince story book when i felt so uneasy... I felt that all the guys standing around me became so manly... Oh well i thought i was over-sensitive or whatsoever, i was standing near the opposite door, facing out, the side door which won't open at all, then i turned my head over, WOW i saw her. It was this instance that she turned her head towards my direction as well... OH GOSH !!! We looked into each other eye's like for less than 2seconds, immediately i turned away... SHE WAS GORGEOUS I"M TELLING YOU... She slimmed down... Her used to be round chubby healthy face turned out to be MAGGIE Q's kind of look, long and slim and pretty !!! OMG SHe's really really pretty... No wonder all guys' attention was on her... That's why i realized that i wasn't really over sensitive... There she was standing in the middle of the two doors... Her tanned is so nice, since poly days she already had that tanned but presently, she's much much prettier maybe because she has slimmed down, no longer the chubby her...

She was from the dragonboat cca... I was telling my poly friend about her and he was like are you referring to the ronaldo girl.. KAO it was damn long ago and i almost really forgotten about it... Hahaa her nickname we gave her was Ronaldo !!! Hahaa don't want to elaborate on why we named her Ronaldo... She's really gorgeous, i don't know... OMG i hope to see her again though :X

Then came my stop station, and i got to alight... Guess what, the guy standing beside her refused to move away so i could go out !!! I was so angry... Kao i don't think by standing beside her will make her like you idiot men !!! I didn't really glance back at her, *Regretting now* 0-*!!!!! AWWWWWW hahaa ya that's about it...
:)

Oh well i didn't really talk to her today maybe because due to the fact that she said it's private... I guess i shouldn't be so busybody and troubling her... She has her life and she said it went very well... I'm happy for her :)
But don't be dwelt by your past... Your note in FB made me drop a tear you know :\ maybe because i know how it feels like. Now you just got to look forward my dear :)
Good Luck :)

Not a great tuesday

2009-06-01T21:04:00.000-07:00

Well, wasn't feeling well this morning, wokeup to find the stiffness on my neck area... oh well might be my sleeping position again... z_Z
Yeah had a wonderful dinner last night, my mother's curry chicken.... I had it with Toasted Bread... She makes very very nice curry chicken... and going to have hor fan for tonight's dinner Heehee... I don't actually mind having curry chicken for dinner with toasted bread though, but she said she bought the hor fan already, oh well i guess i'll have hor fan and curry chicken the same time :D~
Recently i found myself eating less and less, maybe because of her, she told me about one should take good care of oneself and you will be what you eat :) I want to be good i want to feel good ya that's about it... watched last night match, haas of germany against my favourite roger federer... It was adrenaline rush.... Federer lost 2sets of the matches... and haas was playing so well. I could see the victory in his eyes until the 3rd set, match 7, whereby haas leading a 4-3 over federer while federer was struggling to hold onto his serve... Federer was down 40-15 i guess or was it 40-30, Haas had the opportunity to breakserve and ultimate win Roger Federer... You guess what !!! The crowd cheered for Federer, i guess the ambience did play a major pyschology part, Haas was affected and here came the down hill for him... Federer struggled and managed to hold onto his service game... After the 8th game, which federer had hold served, he let out a loud cry, BOosting himself to work upwards... Yeah it was exciting.... Federer became ultimate warrior, although he was down by two earlier sets, which Haas played very well with his game plan, deep serve, and hit towards the backhand of federer and drop shot, he was affected by the crowd and wasn't thinking straight... Federer transformed to another form, the old winning Federer, he had less unforced error and played safe without taking stupid opportunities which Haas had constantly been feeding him... It's part of Haas game plan... which made Federer to hit it wide,out.... Yeah and slowly Federer won the 3rd set by breaking Haas's service game...

Came 4th set, federer was owning... He took the set i think was within half an hour, 6-1...
Now final 5th deciding crucial match... You can see Haas was back on his feet... Standing the ultimate form of Federer, the game proceeded, Federer had his chances of breaking Haas's first service game, but Haas remained calm and cool and took the 1st match, as the game proceeded on, you could see that Federer had played something different from his previous matches, he was attacking more aggressively then previous set games. Ultimately, he won over Haas. I was happy for him :)

GO FEDERER GO !!!
Heeheee.

Oh well talk about the girl, i guess she's in love with her date... Although i didn't really talk to her, i guess that's about it. I wish her all the best and goodluck :)

I think i'm heading to honglim to have my lunch. It's been a long time since i had the Dumpling soup noodles :D~ Very nice, from the chicken chop noodles stall :) but today is tuesday, i hope it's opened though :p Or else i'll have to scratch my head again on what to eat :S

Signing off
Steven :)

Monday bluzzzz

2009-05-31T18:59:00.000-07:00

Oh well, another weekends over... Feeling very tired and lethargic... Because they were crazy!!! Hahaa, wanted to play mahjong on sunday night!!! Hahahaa... Usually mahjong sessions are on fridays and saturdays night, because they went for movie on saturday night, Terminator 3 don't know what's the title of the movie Hahaa, ya they were crazy, we played yesterday night... After so many sessions of mahjonging, i realized something about myself... it's always in the begining of the game that i anyhow play and lossing money chips and as the game proceeds on, i became more alert and more daring... awwwwww i don't know why is it that i always throw the title out, it comes back to me... and opening titles, always have loopholes and the guy beside me isn't feeding me, it's always in such sequences, 1,3,4,7,9... OMG imagine getting these titles throughout the whole game and the guy beside me keeps on throwing 1,9,6 kind of titles, OMG mahjong is kind of weird !!! Hahaa maybe because i'm not really good heehee... Nevertheless, i think it's all about luck... Maybe all these while i've been kind of unlucky :( Nevermind about this, things are going to change for the better... :) I truely hope so...

Had a wonderful lunch yesterday afternoon, had steamboat at home because two friends came over to our house for lunch, had a wonderful great meal and i am going to have curry chicken for dinner tonight :D~ Yeah !!! Hahaa... That's about all...

NADAL Lost in last night's Roland Garros Tennis match against Swedish Giant, Robin Soldering. Nadal didn't really play well, that's why he lost :x Hahaa, Good news is !!! MARIA SHARAPOVA won the match against Na Li of China. Although Na Li did play very well, Sharapova's EEWW AWWW EWW AWW paid off... Hahaaa!!! :D I like her :) She's cute and tall :) The kind of girl i would love *Blushingz* I guess many guys out there do like her as well :p

And serbian Ana Ivanovic didn't play well against her opponent, Victoria Azarenka, the number 9th seeder... Ana made lots of unforced error, i guess she was nervous that's why she lost the match :x Ok that's about it, More actions to come and i'm looking forward to Roger Federer winning this Grand Slam :) Murray is good... As for Tsonga, he's form is kind of on/off... Although he has a very powerful serves, and ultimately doing a strong forehand stroke aiming towards the opponent's backhand position, Roger Federer will definitely break his momentum by using sliced backhand... Heeheee Go Federer Go !!! :D

As for my health wise, really not feeling well... don't know why, most probably because i'm been quite conscious about my intake of food, the type of food i'm eating and the amount i'm taking in... Or maybe i'm transforming into an adult, MAN!!! I find that i've been quite forgetful about things and events... Ya, i'm getting old i guess...

A dream i hope will not appear again...

2009-05-28T18:44:00.000-07:00

Have not been feeling well this week... so actually went to bed around 8~9pm instead of usual 2~3am... Last night was terrible... I wokeup in the middle of the night, 3am because of one dream... Can you imagine someone shedding tears while dreaming... hahaha... It's the second time i dreamt of her again... It's the same things she said to me... It felt so real, really and i'm not kidding... Although i knew it was a dream, i still persisted on what was going to happen... I don't know, when you loved someone, you want to spend every moment to look after her... I wanted to know what happen... The reasons were still the same, she cried, i cried, it's always repeating itself... I wokeup, the feeling i had wasn't kind of sad, yeah i shed a tear or two, i wasn't feeling sad but kind of angry though that why did this have to happen. Awwwww no point dwelling over it anymore like what online penpal always been saying... It's over !!! Yeah !!! Although it was just a dream, somewhat it does bother me alittle bit though. I couldn't sleep and i knew i got to do something about it. It's 3am and i got to work in the morning... so i went online and read news surf facebook and played some games on facebook :)

Oh well it's friday, it's her dating day, i think she's looking forward to this day... for this day is quite crucial to her as she got to know him better... well i feel happy for her, and i refrained myself from chatting with her although i see her online... oh well i think that's the way man :)
No one to chat with, hahaa but myself... I know if i were to tell her about my dreams, i'll get a lecture then she will go on and say those things again which i don't like to hear... "Ya it's your life, no one bothers one one cares, it's your life, your choice why should anyone be bothered!" YHa some sort of this way... She's weird, instead of consoling people, she went on to scold you... hahaa that's how cute she is... but then it's something which with me for almost more than 2 years now... it's not something which you want to forget then you will forget, i did try and am still trying and i guess it's getting better now at least i'm more firm... although more firm doesn't really go well with you, yeah but i'm happy with it... Oh well i hope she will share her date today with me next week... keke... clubbers, hmmm i will give 1 out of 50 guys to be a good one though :x I hope that guy is this 1/50 kind of guy :)

Laalaaala, it's going to be weekends, i guess i want to buy some new clothes, but can't spend too much... I wish to buy something new, wear something new, instead of wearing the same old clothings which will remind me of her... Ya this is how bad it is, but school is going to reopen soon and i have to pay one chunk of huge money to the damn bloody suckers :x Oh well what to do...
This is life... I'm heading to IMM this saturday with YoYo, hoping to buy a pair of sneakers and maybe some shirts :D And maybe head down to jurong point ? It's been revamped so ya most probably more guys shops :D Nice Food :D

An Article from Business Time on Poverty

2009-05-28T02:21:00.000-07:00

An article posted in the business times on today's date, 28th may has once again awakened me from the realization of what poverty and how cruelty the world is and how the riches are the ever heartless and fake people they really are behind those smirking smiles they put on their faces with the agog of tales of the poor...

The story which made me remember what i had in mind was this...

The story of someone by the name Jehangir, one of the 'thousands' of people they interviewed.
It illustrated how tragic collision of dogged effort against a world of banks and laws that seems to plot against the poor.

Although we know that the cycle of poverty is hard to break, countries might try to break via by educating the people and subsquently hoping that they will break the cycle of poverty. The fact is, because of the differences in the status of one, prevents the benefits of the one to borrow money to assess while the one's in need of immediate attention be it health or housing, cause the issues relating to poverty.

Like the article had mentioned, he is a chronically poor man in Uttar Pradesh, northern india.l He worked decades as a labourer on other people's land hoping that one day, he's able to have his own bicycle, land and house. One day, his parents died unexpectedly. By then, he managed to own his very own bicycle but was unable to financially afford a funeral for his parents, he borrowed money from moneylender because banks don't lend out money because of his social status. Moneylenders, the thought of high interests obviously come into the picture.

His wife started working to repay the moneylender as well, as did his two young songs. Pulling a child out of school may be a good way to quickly help repay a loan, but it's a dubious long-term investment decision in a country where education determines everything. What matter now is more important than the future, the thinking of being in a poverty cycle.

Then it came that he managed to save enough to build his very own house but one day the wall collapsed, injuring his limbs.... He had to borrow money from moneylenders once again for treatment as well as accomodation by building new room for his family... This is tragedy... As he recovers, he's being paid lower than he used be being paid due to his not fully abled body... So tell me how to break out of poverty? In singapore, i see children wasting food, complaining these, complaining that... I do want to help out in the social organizations... I really want to do a part to help these people... Why can't the rich help to stablize their lifestyle, build something, provide them a job at least having a job enables them to have the light to live on...

Awwwww i don't know what i'm talking about...

Terrible feeling... Awwwwww

2009-05-27T20:43:00.001-07:00

Been experiencing diarrhoea diarrhoea, nothing else but diarrhoea... What a terrible week... Tummy was pain that i couldn't sleep at night... I don't know what's happening and neither do i want to go see a doctor... The moment i reached home yesterday, i went straight to shower and had diarrhoea, was physically very very weak... i went to bed and sleep... It was then at around 10plus in the night, i felt the pain in my tummy... I wokeup, diarrhoea again... then i realized i didn't have my dinner but that's ok, i had no appetite though... Then i went online using my brother's laptop and watched tennis live French Garos matches :) Then i saw her online at this late hour.... It's kind of unlike her to be online this late, so i guess she's chatting with her new date, so i didn't really chat with her... Then again, minutes later, diarrhoea again... CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT !!! Diarrhoea Diarrhoea Diarrhoea... It's making my butt hot and painful and making me physically very very weak and tiring. Everytime i had diarrhoea, i quickly glup one cup of water to hydrate myself or else i'll die i guess... All the diarrhoea were fast and furious, all water and that's about it...
Then i was lying down on my sofa, chatting with merilyn and watching tennis the same time... Hahaa she didn't even know that the timetable is already out then she went on complaining the same things i complained to myself in the afternoon... Hahaa FOOKUP !!!

Morning came, although i finished watching the whole of the tennis matches, i didn't really stay up for the big match between barca and manU... Hahaa... The first thing i did when i wokeup, DIARRHOEA AGAIN !!!! Awwwww something is really really wrong... might be the lor mee i ate yesterday afternoon ? Or the claypot laksa i had the 2days ago ? I guess i'm skipping my lunch again later, most probably going to have something sweet and light. 2pieces of papaya and 2pieces of mangoes :) My favourite :D And most proabably abowl of the redbean soup with 2 riceballs, sesame and peanuts :D AWWWW delicious they are just so irresistable :x

Yup that's about it, she's going on her date tomorrow. I wish her luck from the bottom of my heart and i truely hope that someone good and nice can take care of her. That's about it. Exams results are coming really soon... i know i didn't really do well this time... i hope i am able to do it better this coming semester :) Yup that's about it. Well i guess i'm not going to talk to her anymore... The more i talk to her, the harder for me to get away :)

I had a resolution this morning... I subscribed myself to the googlereader.... It's a fun and easy kind of tool which one can use to read lots of things/information on the web... Cool i love it and i have decided to read and know more about the world and what's happening. I hate reading SG Newspaper... Always painting the beautiful pictures and hiding all other issues... It's so "controlled" in a way that it's not interesting to me... heehee :)

I'm going to IMM this saturday with YoYo... I hope that by going out, i'm able to break free from what i was in the past :) Awwwww YoYo is a nice guy, he has some weird habits and interests... Haha that's him.

Tummy Day~~~~

2009-05-26T19:41:00.000-07:00

Awwwww upset tummy is a terrible thing to experience for anyone... It's kind of on/off sensation pain in your tummy and when you go to the toilet, you wish that the pain will just come out, it won't!!! Nothing comes out... and the pain is there!!! That's when i realized that sitting on the toilet bowel won't help, i went to lie down on my bed and apply the chinese medicated oil on my belly button :) It helps alot :D Awwwww what a nice feeling and smell :x

Kind of weird, yesterday around evening time, my brother asked me if i needed money for my education. I was like wow so are you subsidizing my school fees har ? So nice of you ? Hahaa. Then he told me he wanted to buy a car. Oh well he passed his driving test few days ago... As for me, i had mine for about almost 2 and a half years. Although i have the thought of buying a car as well but due to furthering my studies and climbing up the higher ladder, i choose to study to a car...

Yesterday was kind of happy and sad for me... I don't know why... Kind of happy that i know her even better and kind of sad that this is the very far we can be with each other... As in, i know my limits... i know myself very well from my past relationships... I know i'm not ready at all... She was telling me about her past, her uni days in aus, her days she got lost HAHAHA i seriously cannot believe that girls cannot read maps !!! HAHAHA this is so funny :x oppsss Then she went on telling me that she went clubbing... oh well clubbing... a place i don't really like to visit though :x then she told me she had fun she was drinking and got drunk. Hahaa ok girls should know how to take care of themselves and be wary when they are drunk... I came across lots of reports :x Ok then she told me she gave her no. to someone she thought was a better one among many others. I was like "WOW" ok... that's when i feel kind of sad and happy. She's nice oh well ya that's about it though :)

Then i was asking so many questions about her and her new date... She sounds happy too... I should be happy for her as well hahaha. It's so unlike me to ask so many questions... Oh well i hope the very best for her :)

Time is not right yet. I'm a very patient man :) I can wait and i'm more focused than ever. I know i need to climb on and move on. I know i need a life, to know someone and love someone someday :) But the time isn't now. Oh well what can i say ? :)

She pulled me back from the darkness into dim light and from the dim light i walked towards the brighter light. She has become someone special to me. Special in a way that i am able to share everything and anything about whatsoever. Maybe because we don't see each other or even talk to one another. This is the kind of special weird relationship i like :x I'm weird hahaa but if you know me in person, you will know i'm a man of few words. I don't really talk much.

:) That's about it... today i saw one of my secondary school friend and she's working in one of the big advertising coys... it has been a very long time since i last seen her. Hahaa i guess she was shocked in the way i dressed myself today... Awwwww everytime i see them, they always comment on my hair without fail. Hahaa. It's time for me to trim my hair :) After my reservice, i guess i'm going to have some nice color on them as well :)

That's all for today :) I hope i can and able to continue my daily diary as mentioned by sandy. Hahaa i'm was stunned when she told me that she had a written diary !!! Kaoz hahaa ok :)

Rejection but feeling happy :)

2009-05-25T05:39:00.000-07:00

What a monday blue to start off with... I felt uncomfortable this morning due to the fact that i didn't really sleep well the previous night... Reason being, i saw someone while i was shopping with YoYo after so many months... Don't know whether it was kind of lucky or unlucky that i saw her... I still can picture the shocked on her face, her expression...

I told everything to her via msn... She got angry and scolded me terribly... Well i guess i really deserved it... And really thank her once again... She got so worked up that i can sensed that she's really upset and angry over my stupidity... I don't know... I'm kind of sad when she's like that... She had gone through worst than anyone else so i hope she will be more happier and this is from the bottom of my heart... I want her to be happy always :)

Then while i was having lunch, i kept thinking, it's always me telling her about my problems and i seriously know nuts about her except what she had gone through and that's about it... All along i wanted to ask her out to thank her and today, i asked her if she wanted some rice dumplings because my house made some. She rejected the idea. Hahaa. I like her... Then i went on and ask her if i were to ask her out, will she say yes, she rejected although she didn't really say a no... awwwww hahaa but i'm feeling much better after letting her know that i want to ask her out... That's about it :) and i'm feeling much better now because of her :)

Today i found out something about her, her religion, her daily lifestyle and what kind of girl she is :) That's good enough :)

Everyday it seems that i have this urge to see her online in either msn or fb... I don't know why, but i feel happy just by seeing her online :)

Although she doesn't really say bye when she's off her work, today i did the initiative by saying Bye to her first but her reply was, since you said bye oh well i should say bye.... Awwwww hinting me that i wanted her offline !!! Hahaa she's this cute isn't she haha :)

Weird me...

2009-05-18T21:28:00.000-07:00

I have come to realize that i'm becoming weird lately... I find myself feeling uneasy and uncomfortable whenever i don't see her online... Awwwwwww... I don't know why... All i know is i'm happy when i'm able to chat with her even to the extend of just saying hi how are you :) kind of stuff... Maybe it's because i'm lack of focus on my job :x It's been in my head lately. I want to ask her out. I want to ask her if she's free to catch the movie Angels & Demons with me. I know there is no point in asking my friends because they all have gone to watch the show without me :( hahaa but i'm afraid. I don't know why. Maybe it's because i'm afraid of losing the future chances of even talking to her>? I'm this kind of person, i'll think far ahead of things. Many possibilities and weighing the outcomes before deciding on going ahead of not and i guess i'll give this a miss... guess i got to watch it alone :\

She seems busy today, i guess... I'll busy too in the days to come:) but i'll always find time to chat with you :) Heehee i don't know why... i like the way it is now :) I'm happy and i realized after so long that i've been missing so much things... All thanks to her :)

My hair is getting longer and i think it's time to go trim it short... heehee although short hair doesn't suit me well but what to do, reservice is coming !!! Awwwwww.... hahaa :)

Something which i found on the web which is nice to read :)

Love does not need a reason.

Lady: Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?
Man: I can't tell the reason.. but I really like you..

Lady: You can't even tell me the reason... how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?
Man: I really don't know the reason, but I can prove that I love you.

Lady: Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend's boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!

Man: Ok..ok!!! Erm... because you are beautiful, because your voice is sweet, because you are caring, because you are loving,
because you are thoughtful, because of your smile, because of your every movements..

Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and was in a coma. The Man then placed a letter by her side,
and here is the content:

"Dearest,
Because of your sweet voice that I love you...
Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your care and concern that I like you..
Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your smile,
because of your every movements that I love you..
Now can you smile? Now can you move?
No, therefore I cannot love you...

If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love you anymore.
Do love need a reason? NO!
Therefore, I still love you... and love doesn't need a reason.

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, not touched..but are felt in the heart."

A sick Day

2009-05-18T20:56:00.000-07:00

It's been long since i've come back here to write something :)
Today i ain't feeling so good and took the opportunity to rest and sleep in office x_X'' Heehee

I really wanted to say thank you to someone special. She's sweet looking, nice, kind and charming and also knows how to really take good care of herself. She's also someone who reprimanded me on something which i've kept deep inside of me and also which i refused to let go. Her words and what she had gone through made me thought otherwise and gave me the strength and courage to spill it all out to her and she's truely the only person who knows what i had been keeping inside of me. Although it's kind of weird that i have never seen her in real person and we are just strangers and slowly she became a friend of mine in one way or another; not sure whether does she treat me as one though haha, nevertheless she became someone truely close to me; someone special. If i have one thing to say, give me 2 years time :)

I was feeling down all the time but that's going to change.

Furthermore, i came across one interesting article on symphony 92.4FM's website about "Growing Older or Growing Up".
And i really want to share with all people who happen to come to my blog and reading stuff :)
Here it goes;

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty seven years old. Can I give you a hug?". I laughed and enthusiastically resounded, "Of course you may! " and she gave me a giant squeeze.

I then asked, "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel." "No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. "I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet and I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."As we laughed she cleared her throat and began: "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success.""You have to laugh and find humor every day."

"You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!""There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change." "Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

:)

She seems kind of sad and frustrated. I wish i could do something to brighten her up. I know i can't do anything because she simply feels very irritated. I love talking to her over online messaging...

Chinatown Steamboat

2009-01-10T17:02:00.000-08:00

Had a wonderful time of feasting with a couple of friends last night...
It was eccentric dining steamboat we had... eating heartily in the midst of many people walking past beside you every single second when you were lavishing the wide spread of food available :x

I had a very wonderful time indulging myself with many many prawns :D

hahaha the shop opens from 11am till 5am in the morning daily, we were having this thought, like how about taking a day off in one of our weekdays and come here to eat the moment they open the stall till they close shop ? hahaha it will be out of this world...

ok personal life event aside, i read from yesterday's newspaper that ebola has resurfaced itself in the philippines-Manila. Now if you do a simple search on the word ebola, you will find out that it has 4 different genre, namely the Ebola-Ivory Coast, Ebola-Sudan, Ebola-Zaire and Ebola-Reston... It was reported that this was the first time the virus has been discouvered outside of monkey and this time round, in our food-producing animal; pigs... it quoted saying that the Ebola Reston strain was found last October in tissue samples tested in the US from six pigs from farms in Northern part of the philippines.... so i was wondering what else can we eat? Have mad-cow diseases, Bird-flu virus and now!! PIGS with ebola... It's time we convert ourselves to vegetarians... Saying about Bird-flu virus, China; Yanjiao (Hebei) has issued a bird-flu alert after a woman died of the virus...

Back in my mind was, what causes all these viruses and diseases? In the past, do they exist? Many medical experts have predicted that the word evolution or transmutation are the causes of these viruses or diseases... *Sighzz

New Year new beginning!

2009-01-09T22:09:00.000-08:00

Have been thinking of furthering my studies to a higher level so as to fetch a decent/better salary heights. This year round, many people have said that it's a good time to go study since the economy is terribly bad to worst or even worsen dramatically in the months to come...
In my field of work in a Consultancy firm, i have received feedback that many coys are freezing wages while some in bad shape, have decided to cut wages and furthermore, some are actually axing so as to cut down the costs... overhead costs etc etc... ok shall not go further into this...

in economics term, when there's an increase in unemployment rate, there will be deflation... but as we can see, things aren't cheap nowadays... was browsing through strait times, then realized that the costs of the newspaper had actually increased... as i flipped through the paper, i came to the NTUC fairprice page where they show case all the good deals... was scanning through roughly and come to know that all prices of things have actually gone up... with the economy in such a bad shape, can't someone do something about it?

nevertheless, i just hope that everyone is healthy and in good shape... no matter what happens, do not fall sick. Medical attention isn't going to be cheap... and they are going to up the prices...

*Sighingz
Life is getting tougher and tougher each passing month... year...

Since i'm touching on health issue, i shall share this...
Food additives may make lung tumour grow.. so what is/are this/these food additives?
From the Mind your Body newspaper, it says that phosphorous-contatining food additives which are found in soft drinks and processed food ( meaning sausages/cheese) my favourite, may lead to tumours... so people who are cheese or sausages lovers like me, do take care :x

Maybe i shall have a new year new resolution, to update this blog of mine with health awareness issues and digital stuff.. it'll be cool... ya with my poor lousy english though :D

Oh yes, almost forgotten to touch on my studies... as i was saying, i've been procrastinating... always been indecisive about my decision when it involved huge amount of money... yes studying... after many many months of thoughts and working in the same company, i have come to realize that i have to really go back to study to climb a few steps higher... there are many things which i'm unawared of, issues that i don't understand and many many things i don't really know... i've decided that i have to do something about it and i enrolled myself in a degree course... hopefully it's be a fruitful one for me :S

A Day To Remember...

2008-09-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

I guess i shall get myself back on track. Things happened over the past week and i realised that one has to really think for thyself. Got to start thinking of thyself. That's about it for today.
Have been cutting down on dota-ing. Found new interests in a game Diablo II.

Sentimental ~ Words of a Broken Heart...

2008-05-03T05:13:00.000-07:00

As i moved toward a foreign land,
my heart is at the other end.
Being left alone bleeding and hurt,
cut by the words and things i heard.

When she said she no longer cares,
a crack appeared, one heartbreaking tear.
When she said i love you but not to my ears,
i broke down in despair.

Tried to face my own fears,
but to find myself in tears.
Tried to be strong,
yet got it all wrong.

Tried to wish her all the best, ~.......
Tried to do all the right things, ~......

It's pointless to even try,
for i will end up hiding a corner to cry.
I hope the tears would stop flowing,
as i know it's my own agony.

Chocolate Banana Roll !!!

2008-04-19T03:04:00.001-07:00

Haha Chocolate Banana Roll~!!!! That will rock your taste-buds!!!

Now have yet to try out the "Ultimate Banana Tempura"

:D~

Month of April = )

2008-04-17T09:01:00.000-07:00

Been spending quite some money this week...
Firstly, i bought a recipe book which costs around $18/-... It's a dessert book... what tempted me to buy this book was, the "chocolate banana roll". I hope i'm able to spend sometime over this coming weekends to fulfill my long time wish... It's been my dream to make/bake/cook food... But being lazy in nature, i alway find myself doing nothing over the weekends... I shall try to push myself over this coming weekends...

Secondly, as my birthday is around the corner, i bought myself a present... A present which i thought for quite some time before purchasing... with the help of ahbui over the past weeks, asking him of the good places with best bargains... Hahaa, i finally bought a watch which i thought over the months... It cost me two hundred over bucks... and i think it's worth the price tag...

Maybe it's because my birthday i near, i tend to spend abit more money than usual... Very unlike me... I don't really spend so much money at one go unless i have to spend or something which i like(very unlikely) even for the things i like, i will give some thought to it before buying by first, considering the price and the "value" of the thing/s which i'm buying... That's me :)

Below are the pictures of the 2 items which i have spent... To me, they are good investments :)
I hope i'll be able to make the chocolate banana roll and upload some pictures :)

Item number 1:

Item number 2:

:D

Banana Tempura

2008-04-09T02:38:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is my very first blog on food... hahaa...
I am currently reading a magazine which i just opened from the mailbox... It's the appetite magazine which advertises/showcase some of the high end food and stuff like that... As a matter of fact, it's not a magazine which caters for me because i don't earn much and don't really able to afford the food they show... Inevitably, i know they will showcase of how to prepare food... afterall, it's appetite, you can't just showcase some famous good food without telling people, hey you buy my magazine just for the food location stuff like that right? Hahaa... Yes and this issue, what caught my eye is this Banana Tempura inside the notebook FOODIENOSH!!!

It says,
First, Peel and slice two "firm" and ripe bananas into 2cm thick, preferably 2 to 3.5cm... not too thick or thin...
You need to mix an egg and 2 Tablespoon of milk in a bowl - and i shall call it the egg milkar...
Now lightly dredge the "cut" banana pieces in some flour ~ Not so sure what kind of flour, but i guess it's just the tempura flour? and quickly dip them into the egg milkar...
Afterwhich, quickly coat the egg milkar banana pieces with tempura flakes!!!! And now time to throw them into some fryer!!!! OH YEAH!!! Seems easy!!! =D~ Definitely yummy for a simple dish....
And hahaa, here's the catch, they didn't really teach you on how to deep fry the stuff right? First on your stove and let the oil heat up... Wait for at least 5mins for the oil to be very hot... To test that the oil is ready for frying, put abit of the platter, and it turns golden brown immediately, it's ready for frying : )

Things you need for the above dish, the banana tempura aka eggmilkar banana
1) Bananas ( a must) ~ Choose those that are firm and yellow green in color.
2) Tempura Flakes (must) ~ Or else there won't be any tempura effect. You want crispy right?
3) An Egg
4) Should be Full Cream Milk
5) Normal Flour

Question about yellow green banana ~ Best to buy yellow green banana on one of the weekdays if you intend to make the eggmilkar banana over the weekends. So by the time it's weekend, it's yellow color as a whole instead of over-yellowish bananas!!!! Unless you intend to make it tonight, buy those that are already in yellow color!!! Heeheee~~~ Yup Up ~~

Sadness, grief, pain & anger!!!

2008-03-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

You can Shed Tears by David Harkins

You can shed tears that he is gone
or you can smile because he lived
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
or you can be full of the love that you have shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and lived yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember him and only that he is gone
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

A Poem For David and all Grieving Dads

It must be very difficultTo be a man in grief.
Since men don't cryand are supposed to be "strong".
No tears can bring relief
It must be very difficult
to stand up to the test
And field calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.
They'll always ask if she's all right
and what she's going through
But seldom would one take his hand
and ask 'My friend, but how are you?'
He hears her crying in the night
and feel his heart will break
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But stays 'strong' for her sake.
It must be very difficult
to start each day anew
And try to be so very brave
For this baby that they lost
was his very precious baby too.

http://ashleyisourangel.blogspot.com/

Something i read which interests me....

2008-03-04T23:18:00.000-08:00

Was reading up a book, and came across this,

"For us adults, drawing is a gift reserved for a special few. Some people draw, some write, some think, some drive a truck. This kind of specialization, the division of tasks into categories, leads to the fragmentation of human beings life become limited."

I have been pondering about after reading this sentence. Is it true that when we grow up, we see and know more things and tend to hold back for fear of something?
The author says something like, "If i were to give you a pencil and ask you to draw something, 'Just anything', what will your blank piece of paper be? And if i were to give a child of 5years of age, once i handed the child a pencil and a piece of paper, the child will take the pencil and started drawing..."

Is it true that we will turn more evil as we aged?

What is life??

2007-10-27T01:22:00.001-07:00

Been in the In-Camp training for the past 2 weeks... It's beem fun and tiring... Got to know some new guys... Chit-chat with them then i realized one thing which i'm lacking... What is life?? To them, they know what they want and what they are able to achieve and when i think about myself? I'm not in a job which i'm really interested in, and i have nothing... Be it "life" or money... Then i started questioning myself, what is life?? It bothers me alot... I failed my IPPT and my shooting... I passed all the stages in ippt except the running... Shooting was screwed up, the gun isn't really zero aiming to my firing sight fooking cb... Nevertheless, fook care everything... Am bothered that age is catching up to me and i do'nt really what i want... Hate everything...

海的思念绵延不绝终于和天在地平线交会
爱如果走得够远应该也会跟幸福相见承诺
常常很像蝴蝶美丽的飞盘旋然后不见
但我相信你给我的誓言就像一定会来的春天
我始终带着你爱的微笑一路上寻找我遗失的美好
不小心当泪滑过嘴角就用你握过的手抹掉
再多的风景也从不停靠只一心寻找我遗失的美好
有的人说不清哪里好但就是谁都替代不了在最开始的那一秒
有些事早已经注定要到老虽然命运爱开玩笑真心会和真心遇到

Saturday!! Book out!! Book out!!

2007-10-20T05:18:00.000-07:00

Wow book out book out!!!
What an unlucky day this very saturday was... Just when we were going to book out, it started raining heavily in the morning... SerioUSLY!!! just when we were about to leave the drill shed... Unlucky or lucky? ? ? haha... sianz lah have to go through the stupid training of different things again... What's worst was, got to go back office... haiz... Guess got to find another job...

Maybe it's fate, i just realized that there are so many people actually earning slightly higher than me... Good news is, they are smokers but i'm not so i guess i could and can actually save more money ba... Haiz... Maybe i seriously have lost the interest in my life... because of that someone... Seriously am been crushed down deep deep... lost all interest in the things which i used to like... Talked to some people during the week... Many may be very simple minded, but the differences between them and me was this, they know what they want to achieve... they know what they want... Some wanted to quit to come out venture with their the other half... some wanted to come out venture on their own... It's this enthusiatism in them which seriously makes me envy them...

Then i slowly told them about all the issues and problems which they may face and i did encourage them to go ahead for they have such enthusiatism in them... Told them about the experiences i had while i was still studying and working in cafe... i shared about the time when i helped out my this cafe boss friend and the difficulties we went through...

After the discussion and sharing, i suddenly felt jealous of them... i don't really know why... maybe my "heart" has seriously stopped... and maybe i just seriously don't really care...

Nvm everything is on the rise... nothing much the poor seriously can do... i told them about the money issue in business... i just wish them luck...

Next week will be seriously very tiring... all the physical stuff... Haiz got worried, not sure whether can pass my ippt... Pull up seriously cannot pull already... getting weak and weaker... arms no longer as strong as before... just not as high and far as before... run not as swift as before... adulthood is catching me up and i seriously am not in the state of mind to go through this stage of life...

Haiz...

一直不相信有天长地久这东西。
自己也没有把握能给你金钱能给的。
也许过了几年后，希望是能把所有的一切当成是一场梦。

That's all folks...

Depression...

2007-10-13T08:10:00.000-07:00

The day after tomorrow is my re-service... Depressing? Yes am very depressed... Haiz... Went to beach road today and actually bought a belt and 2 white shorts... YES! What i was told on my briefing day was, they no longer will provide us with the operation belt and we have to actuall go buy ourselves. YES WTFish... Spent twenty dollars on the 3 items... Bought only 2 white shorts...

Have been playing PSP Monster Hunter 2... Got fooking depressed oso.. Don't know where to get the items to upgrade to better weapon and armor!!! WTFish again... Seriously want to owe those big dragons big time but everytime, when i was about to seriously kill the freaking creature, they will suddenly become havoc... TOTAL MANIAC!!! And trapped you and used its combo... IT'S Seriously total ownage if you were trapped... Nevertheless, i owed it BIG TIME although been owned by it for the past 3 DAYS!!! YES 3 Days = 3 hours.... Each day 1hour.... Lost 2 out of three times was because Time's Up and the dragon was dying... WTFish... One time was totally SCREWED UP!!! Always got trapped by that idiot and it used its combo and ultimately, i died... BUT Today was total ownage and i didn't die any time HAHAHAA!!!!

Went to OG in bugis after buying the stuff from beach road.... ONE THING SERIOUSLY PISSED ME OFF!!! The atm machines there are all faulty... Secondly, So many people.... And found one atm but the queue was so long... aiya... After which, i went into OG... Wanted to buy a wind breaker for the China Trip... Upon reaching, found the one which i liked BUT!!!! No one attended to me... I wanted to buy but no sales person there... Waited for 10mins holding the wind-breaker, around the sweater section, no sales person approached me nor was there any sales person around... I was like forget about it... Buy some other time since today isn't a good day to do shopping... So many people Aiya...

And since i'm depressed, i would like to share this song.....

A song which i like, a song which i truely hope that one day it will come true... But... but... *Sighz

常常责怪自己当初不应该
常常后悔没有把你留下来
为什么明明相爱
到最后还是要分开
是否我们总是徘徊在心门之外

谁知道又和你相遇在人海
命运如此安排
总教人无奈
这些年过得不好不坏
只是好像少了一个人存在
而我渐渐明白
你仍然是我不变的关怀

有多少爱可以重来
有多少人愿意等待
当懂得珍惜以后归来
却不知那份爱
会不会还在

有多少爱可以重来
有多少人值得等待当
爱情已经桑田沧海
是否还有勇气去爱

Seriously what if one day, we were to meet again??? I seriously hope that day will never come

That's all folks....
Depress, depressed Yes DespRESseD

Re-Service!!!

2007-10-12T06:37:00.001-07:00

Been busy and don't really have the time to actually go about sourcing my goal; Codes to the calendar and i guess i've got to push back... Next week is my re-service monday... YES WTFish!!! So fast got to go back re-service already... WORST OF ALL!!!! Got to go through training again, a totally new place, new uniform and new training... WTFISH again!!! Damn, been using lots of vulgarities lately... Most probably is been affected at my work place. A friend of mine quitted his job and in the future, i got no one to have lunch and talk cock with me... Sad right??? YES VERY SAD!!!! Seriously.... it's totally waste of time... Haiz what to do? I'm a MAN!!!

Haiz what to do... The relationship between the boss and him wasn't that good... Initially was very good but the boss go over-board... He cannot tahan that's why... haiz so what is life after-all??? Isn't 2 beeing happy is good enough?

Nevermind let me talk about myself... yesterday, as usual, i took a bus home and was playing my white psp when suddenly, A girl pop-out.. And YES, she's very beautifully. The forth woman, in my opinion, very beautiful!!! She LOOKS LIKE MAGGIE Q but fairer version of her... She's very pretty, not too tall but i just like her... She was with her friends, total 3 of them...but~~ BUT~~~but they alighted at Taka.... She was standing in-view of me, yes, infront... She's very beautiful... How i wish to see her again...

What to do? I have no guts... A friend of mine always says this to me... "Steven boy!!! No Guts!!! NO GLORY!!!"
Hahaa. The problem is, he has guts and "too much GLORY" hahaa.. That's how we always tease each other... But then, i seriously have no guts... How i wish i'm abit thicked-skinned... Able to approach and talk to girls, ask for numbers bla bla bla... But i don't dare... Haiz...

Although i know the fact that we live once being a human being on this Earth... but to me, i don't want to hurt/harm anyone, be it emotionally or physically... That's one weakness which i have... Was hoping that i could be abit ruthless and Hard hearted...

And now, i would like to share a song... a song which speaks of my life, i would say after changing abit of the original song...

我什么都没有
只是有一点静
如果你感到寂寞
我带给你热闹
为你绕再绕
没有什么大不了
是因为让你微笑

其实你很烦恼
我一直都看的到
如果我也不开心
怕你转身就逃

爱上一个人
一定要让她相信
这世界是多么美好

对每个人都说还好
我的心我的情你不需要明了
只要我对你好这样的温柔你要不要

其实你爱我像谁
扮演什么角色我都会
快不快乐我无所谓
为了你开心我忘记了累不累其实
你爱我像谁任何的表情我都能给woo在你身上学会流眼泪

That's all folks :) : :\ :(

Interesting ideas add-ons!!!

2007-10-09T05:17:00.001-07:00

Wow, ever since i had decided to start blogging, alot of things were going through my head... It's like you were going for your first driving lesson... Nvm... Heehee... Everyday seems boring... Especially when one has to work for the sake of working... I don't mind working long hours, as long as i'm learning something or there are things which interest me... Nevertheless, shall not talk about work... Everything about work S***s...

Well basically, i have been thinking how and what to do to make this blog a nice place for people and myself to keep on wanting to come and, "Hey check out what's new!" something like that...

First of all, whenever i come into my own blog, i always find something amiss and guess what!!! YES a date system... And i'm going to improve it in such a way that it will automatically link my each individual blog message onto each specific date and what's more, able to move the months just by clicking next arrow or previous arrow... Sounds easy but got to work hard to get what i want... Hahaa it's easy to talk... That's how many people out there survive... Talk only other people work...

To me, Fun begins from a new idea... working your way to achieve the idea... It's seriously fun when you don't know how to do it but die die want to have it done This is what i call - total ownage... HAHAA!!! = I have done this and myself... haha...

Hope that my goal will come true... Time to start reading and searching for codes for this add-on features... What else is there for me to do to make my blog more comfortable... I seriously don't like blogs that are so fanciful whereby "WOW the colors are great but i can't even read your wordings!! C'mon man?" i have come across such blogs... WOnderful layouts and interesting add-ons but overall.... Awwww....!!!! hahaa...

I hope that my blog will be pleasant, simple and a comfortable place whereby one has no hassle in reading or accessing any things from here.... And probably a music station whereby one can listen to music if one wants to if he clicks...

New task to start cracking, A WORKING CALENDAR first!!! Hehee...

That's all folks..

New Beginning!!! New Resolution!!! New Hobby!!!

2007-10-07T20:02:00.000-07:00

Hi all, recently have been thinking quite alot... Don't know why but i guess it's time for me to seriously sit down and think what i want and what i really wanted in this life...

First of all, i am very pleased with myself over these few months...

1) Firstly, i bought myself a PSP and in it, a 4gig memory...

2) Secondly, i bought my mother a second hand digital camera which she can use it to take pictures of her cakes, food etc... which she always make when she's free on weekends... She's been using the old fashion camera which i find it a hassle... Therefore, i bought a cheap and very good digital camera for her and it's hers...

3) Thirdly, don't know what went into me... When a friend of mine asked if i would want to go China, Shanghai with him, immediately i said YES!!! Without considering how much the expenses will be, how much the accomodation? or how much the air-ticket bla bla bla... BUT thank God man!!! All i have to do it to pay the air-ticket and furthermore, HAHAA!!! Secret!!! Seriously thank him and his relatives man!!! For i only live once and i seriously do not know if i am able to travel in the future... Take every opportunity to see the world guys out there whoever is reading this...

4) Fourthly, since i'm going to Shanghai China being the first trip and the Computer fair was around that corner, my this friend and i actually went down to SUNTEC City to look, see, look, see what's there in the computer fair... AND!!!~~~ I bought myself a digital CAMCORDER!!!! YES!!! A digital camcorder... It's a 10mega pixel which comes with free, 2 gig memory, a digital PC Webcam & A SOUND SYSTEM(2 speakers with a bass) which in the end, gave my friend... For the price of ~~~ all i can say is, very cheap... Secret!!!! YES!!!

5) Fifthly, have always wanted to buy a handphone ever since i lost my SE W850i White after using for a month, bought in December 2006... Wanted to forget everything... Looking at my current phone, always think of the past... Which for hell sake, wanting to forget ever since like how many many months ago... AND FINALLY!!! YES!!! I was looking @ a forum and there was this guy selling handphones... First, i wanted a E65 nokia handphone, BUT i was too late... gone... Next coming model which i was looking at was, N80 nokia handphone as well... DaMn!!! TOO LATE as well... HATE THOSE FOOKING 2nd handphone shop... But what to do, good prices... And lastly, i took the old model 6680 Nokia and THANK GOD!!! the guy actually sold to me instead of a 2nd handphone shop... Finally a phone which i find it not bad... I give it a 8/10 for the functions of the phone...

All in all, i have spend quite some certain of money on all these stuff which i am very happy with.... First, PSP, Digital Camera for mother, Digital Camcorder with Free WEB CAM, A Trip to Shanghai at a very low cost and lastly, a NOKIA 6680 handphone!!!

More good days ahead Please!!!

And i have something which i want to do and hope that i am able to do it daily... AND THAT IS, to update this blog regularly by posting pictures and daily stuff!!! :D

That's all folks!!!